An Update!

Well, it seems I’m over due for an update here! I’ve been very much feeling like there isn’t much to write about, no amazing number of pounds or inches vanished. Just plugging away. Day in. Day out. Plus, Google and I are in disagreement about my password again, so I’ve had issues getting here to write!

Today is officially 4 weeks since I first met this amazing group. Our day one class of 24 people has widdled down to 10-12. My heart aches for those that shelved their goals once again, but I am inspired by those who have stuck around. Some are really struggling, but they keep coming back, keep making an effort. It’s a beautiful sight. Plus, the smaller class size gives us a very nice ratio of trainer-per-workoutee (my blog, my made up words)!

I have gotten the opportunity to work out with each of the trainers. Wow! Each has their own style. Each very effective. The one I’ve spent the most time with (who I may or may not have called a jerk at one point in time) is brutal. And loud. His wife, she’s so quiet. So supportive. So slyly brutal. The third trainer left a little room for ME to make sure I was pushing MYSELF hard enough. It was really inspiring to see what I could do on my own.

The nutrition plan and I are doing quite well together. I am constantly conflicted as to whether or not to tell people it’s easy or hard to follow. The trainers gave us a very specific equation to follow and started us out with examples of options for foods and meals. From there it took time (i.e. hours of wandering aimlessly around Walmart reading labels) to determine what I liked to eat that would fit into the equation. My foods for the past 4 weeks have been very consistent. I am starting to play with variety a little bit, adding a thing or two each week. I don’t always get everything quite right, but I definitely get an A for effort!

Now, where it gets hard is that I’ve given up EVERYTHING I loved to eat. Every delicious, mouth watering bite of high calorie, high sodium junk, gone! Not one splurge. I’ve been VERY fortunate in that the cravings for these foods have almost been nonexistent. Just this past week I have really developed a hankering for one thing. One thing that, in one “meal,” greatly exceeds my calorie and sodium content for the entire day. I’m not falling for it! If I still want it in six months, I can have it then. Today, I have work to do!

My biggest struggle right now is sleep. Before I got accepted into this class, I volunteered to work graveyards for six weeks so that I would have a chance to develop a routine of exercise and eating. The first four weeks were hard, but doable; these last two have been absolute hell! My body is done with these sleeping during the day shenanigans. I’m sleeping very little and in a constant state of tiredness/near exhaustion. I am falling behind on my work outs and my body isn’t getting the rest it needs to recover properly from the exercise I do get in. It’s just been hell.

That being said, it is absolutely amazing that this class came along when it did. I feel like this opportunity was dropped in my lap at the exact moment I needed it. Had I been on day shift, I would have never been able to attend the classes. I had a goal of developing a routine and this class has given me a solid foundation that I believe I will be able to work with when I return to the daylight next week!

I do have some lingering anxieties going on… You see, I’ve eaten only foods that have been prepared in my own kitchen, by my own two hands for 4 weeks now! Next week is my first meal out! A friend’s birthday! Reservations were made in February! I’ve deliberately stuck to the nutrition plan 98% of the time for weeks so that I could enjoy this meal with my friends. I know I will make better choices than I ever did dining out in the past! Still, I’ve created a comfort zone and this is WAAAAAYYY outside of it!

In addition, I have a two day trip planned that involves air travel. This means no liquid protein shakes. I’m pretty sure the containers of white powder I carry around with me at all times now would create quite a stir with the TSA as well. I’ve talked with the girls I am traveling with and they are so incredibly supportive! They know that we will need to hit a market pretty early upon arrival so I can get whatever foods I was unable to travel with. Love them!

Okay, so I guess I did have a lot to write about! The one thing I haven’t really discussed is results. I’m uncertain how I want to go about presenting them here. My numerical results to date are good. They could be better. I am a typical American Female – I want what I want and I want it now! This means, when I step on the scale, I’m not satisfied with the results. I know this will take time. I also know that I could work harder. So that’s my new goal once I’m done with graveyards. Sleep at night. Work harder during the day. I really want to fit into that new pair of jeans sitting on the dresser calling my name. I am so close…

 

Thank You!!

Wow! The support I have received from y’all is just mind blowing! Thanks to each and every one of you!

Friends have asked how they can help. They have sent encouraging texts, especially on tough days! My Mom texted to wish me luck, which totally made my day! Then she followed it up with “um, you were supposed to do such-n-such for me…” Oops! Sorry Mom! Don’t worry, I forgot I was supposed to watch some children too… we’re trying to teach them to be self-sufficient, right?!?! (Just kidding! Sheesh! I got a reminder just in the nick of time! Everyone’s being tended too!)

I’ve gotten emails too! It turns out I have a friend who is working out with the same trainers on her own. She feels my pain! In every way! Last May, sweet friend showed up on my marathon course with her bebe’s and a BIG sign cheering me on! Thank you friend! Yesterday, today, and tomorrow, Thank YOU!

With autumn on our doorstep, everyone is firing up their crock pots to make warm, comforting soups. One of my dearest friends called me up to ask what guidelines she should follow so I could enjoy some yummy soup too! We read labels and talked about what my nutrition concerns are. We went our own ways and I got this text a short time later: “Ugh. Sodium. It’s everywhere!!”  I had to giggle. It really is. She recorded everything so I could include the details in my food journal!  Wow! Talk about above and beyond! I can’t wait to try the soup!! Thank You Dear Friend! 

Two weeks down. Many more to go. I am so grateful for all of you! You are amazing!

Thank You!!

Milestones & Fears

So I had planned to write about fears, but man I am just having a rough day! I woke up feeling crummy, the scale and I had a serious difference of opinion, and I just ate a protein bar that I’m quite certain contained rubber cement. So I really need to think positive for a bit. I’m gonna share with you the milestones I’m looking forward to! There is just a handful and they are a bit spread out, but here we go…

#1 – A number I’ve never seen! When I was gaining weight, I never looked at the scale, ever. So there is a large chunk of numbers I never saw. During my prior attempts to lose weight, I did get just a bit below what I am now, so the number below that is my “number I’ve never seen”! It’s not far off! I’m eager to get there!

#2 – Overweight. I’m looking forward to saying I am overweight, not obese. It’s quite a few pounds away. I can do it!

#3 – One hundreds. The day my weight starts with a 1 again, the entire county will hear about it!!!

#4 – Normal Weight. I’ve had a number in my head for years. It’s the very top of the “normal” category. That’s my goal. I may find that I need to do some fine tuning when I get to that point. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there!

Okay, fears… I have 3 main fears right now.

#1 – Losing friend time. I’m afraid people won’t call to “go do…” because it involves food or drinks. I want my friends to know, I’m being fed properly, I am not hungry. I can still go and socialize and not feel temptation. I promise you that nothing on the plate in front of you looks near as good as the scale does when it reveals that new smaller number! I want my friends to know that my food and beverage options will expand as time goes on. I want my friends to continue with life as normal and I will modify it to fit me! Let’s play!

#2 – Cheese. I love cheese. I have given up SO many things. I have not given up cheese. I have accepted “low-fat / low-sodium” cheese. I have switched to Weight Watchers brand cheese and only allow myself 1/8^th of a cup at a meal. I’m having my cheese dammit. I’m afraid the trainer will notice it is part of almost every meal and tell me we have to part ways. I’m afraid that might be the end of the trainer. Take my fast food. Take my coffee. Take my desserts. Just don’t move my cheese!!

#3 – Plateau. Oh I am so very afraid of that plateau that will come some day. Heck, the scale showed no change this morning and I was panicked! It’s too soon! I can’t plateau yet. I know, no change means there was also no gain, so it’s still a win, but man I need to lose!!

Well, that’s all I’ve got for today! I’m definitely looking forward to seeing the trainers and the rest of the gang again tonight! I’m so grateful for them all!!

A Whole New Adventure!!!

Well hey there! I hope you have a fresh cup of coffee, because this is a long one :)

I’ve embarked on a new adventure. Totally different than anything I’ve attempted before. It’s pretty awesome and very difficult, but so worth it! I’m saving my own life. With some help from my friends, of course!

Let me explain. I am overweight. Actually, I am obese. It doesn’t matter how many BMI calculators I try, they all come back with the same answer: FIX IT! NOW! So I am. I have been so incredibly fortunate to get the opportunity to join a program that is helping approximately 35-40 people save their own lives. Turn things around. Be proud of accomplishments. Hopefully someday fit into a jeans size not seen since high school (or before). I will talk more about the program once I have the trainer’s permission to write about it. I won’t give away their trade secrets though; you’ll have to visit them personally for those!!

Until then, I’ll break it down into a simple little recipe:
2 parts education
2 parts understanding
2 parts commitment
The trainers gave me 1 part of everything when I walked in the door. The other part is all up to me.

It’s been interesting thus far! After the first meeting, I headed into a whirlwind weekend of insanity. I was home for all of 10 hours over 3 days. This worked out to two 4 ½ hour naps and 2 showers. I didn’t even attempt to eat right. Everything I had learned weighed on me as I ordered crap to eat. I still ordered the crap. And ate it. The next two days I kinda tried. I ate only from my lunchbox, mostly, which did include specially made foods, but also crap.

My first food journal review didn’t go well. I didn’t even want to look at my trainer as he read it. He told me that my journal said I didn’t care. I tried to argue that. I lost. He made me say out loud, “I don’t care.” I LOATHE that phrase. Something may not apply to me, or I may not have an opinion, but you are taking the time to tell me, so it affects you and therefore, I do care. I do not say “I don’t care.”

I care, dammit. I’ll show you!


Two days later. My first temptation. A birthday BBQ. Burgers and brats and chips and dips and beer and cake and and and. I did it! Okay, my finger slipped into the frosting. Twice. I accounted for it! I kept busy the entire party prepping food and serving food and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and putting food away and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. Everyone kinda hung out in the kitchen, so was really easy to chat and keep busy. It wasn’t until hours later that I realized how neurotic I must have appeared. Frantically cleaning. For three hours!

Then there is Walmart. I’m pretty sure they have about 4 hours of video of me wandering around reading labels. Putting things back. Reading more labels. Wandering aimlessly. Reading more labels. Again, I might possibly have appeared a little neurotic.

I hear you over there thinking “might”? “possibly”? “appeared”? Zip it! The trainers have taken away all my favorite foods; they’ve yet to touch my moderate sense of denial!
(Okay, okay, they didn’t take anything away; they merely strongly suggested I stop being an idiot. Okay, that’s my word not theirs. You get the picture).

Temptation number two came yesterday. My FAVORITE local pub. The BEST place to have a burger and some fries and just two beers (ask any cop, no one ever has more than two beers)! Oh and did I mention it was another birthday party? More cake! I did it! I ate before I arrived. I arrived fashionably late. I enjoyed talking with my friends. I did not deck the woman next to me who must have insisted I finish of her fries at least 5 times. She didn’t wear the cake she shoved in front of me either. It really was a successful evening all around!

I met with the trainers again tonight. It was amazing! It hurt! It was an emotionally charged evening. I called one of the trainers a jerk. Yes, I revert to elementary aged name calling when I’m not pleased. I paid for that little comment the rest of the night. It was fun!

Afterwards, I decided it was time to gut the pantry. Stuff had to go. I had two piles, garbage and food bank. In my brilliance, I tossed the garbage out in the garage to take out later. I failed to think about the expired pickles. In the glass jar. Oops! I still have the smell of pickle juice in my sinuses. Or perhaps I smell of pickle juice. Hmmm.


A short time later I nearly lost a plate of chicken to the dogs. Thank goodness they are black lab mixes and therefore a little slow on the uptake. A smarter dog would have feasted! If I told you it was the second near swiping of the night, you might think I was also part lab and also slow on the uptake. So I’ll leave that alone for now.

Do we look like chicken thieves??
To make me feel a bit better about this evening of self-induced chaos, I decided to wear one of my favorite jackets to work. This particular jacket lets me advertise my employers name across my boobs, which is always a plus, but also might possibly be mislabeled. I’m wearing a medium! With room to spare! I don’t wear a medium. Unless these jackets are designed for giants. It might be a giants’ medium. Who cares! It’s a medium!



Well, now you are all caught up! It’s been great talking to you! If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go see about changing the tags on all my clothes. One way or another :)

I Am A Marathoner!!!

This adventure started in a bar (where most important decisions are made) in February 2010. A couple of things had happened just prior to that night… I had started the Couch-to-5k program that I had been considering for a while. I had also found a friend from my childhood (thank you Facebook) that was an avid runner, more so than I knew at that point. So I mention to Brenda that I was doing the C25k program and she asked which 5k I was going to do. What? Actually do an event? Like with people? A beer or two later I had agreed to a 5k in Seattle in September. We had such a fun trip that when a Half Marathon in Portland in May was suggested, I was in! Silly me, I signed up for my second half before tackling my first. I recall commenting that I was doing things out of order – none of my friends tried to talk sense into me. Perhaps I should have talked things out with my non-runner friends :) I suffered a mental and emotional set back in my training for my third and I ended up sitting out that race. I swore I would never, ever pay a race fee and not finish the race again! So my actual third turned out to be in Seattle, the same day Brenda was doing her first full. Oh my, it was pouring rain the entire time! I was so excited to finish and shower and be back at the finish line for her I ran my heart out! I missed my PR by less than a minute, but considering all the hills in Seattle vs. no hills in Portland, I was ecstatic about my finish time!

Then came the decision to run my own first marathon! The fun and excitement of training with Brenda for hers was just too enticing! We discussed it for the entire month of December, agreeing that we would make the commitment right before midnight on New Year’s Eve. Armed with a strong beverage, I hit “submit” and I was going to be a Marathoner!

So the Friday before the marathon I was on cloud 9! I was excited and getting all my errands run and set out my race gear and fixed the lawn tractor and used the lawn tractor and and and… I realized I was overly excited when a friend told me meth was bad for me! Too funny! I went out with some friends to celebrate a birthday, with a glass of water, or four and was home in bed at a reasonable hour.

Saturday was not so fun. I woke under a very black cloud after having a reoccurring nightmare that was more vivid than ever. I was really bummed and laid back down and woke up again 2 minutes before I was supposed to meet some friends for a swim. I was even more bummed and now two hours behind to get everything done. I had to miss my friends and the pool in lieu of making a play list for the marathon, which of course took longer than planned. I had an appointment at noon, then went to packet pick up, and finally the park for Sophie’s birthday party. As the party wrapped up, anxiety set in. I had completed everything except sleeping and running. I had nothing else to think about. I just wanted to hurry up and go to bed already! Just as I crawled in bed (you know at the super late hour of 8pm) I got a text from a friend that she was at the hospital with her daughter and her first grandbaby was on the way! I went to sleep filled with excitement, and nerves, and excitement!

I woke at 12:17 am in a complete panic! I was certain they were going to name that baby Ezmerelda! It took over an hour and a half to fall back to sleep. I thought about every single thing on the planet, it seemed! Then came the crazy dream… I was an hour and a half late for the race, my cell phone was dead so I couldn’t tell Brenda, I forgot Body Glide and was desperately searching for some, and it turned out to be more of an adventure race than a marathon. I remember trying to climb a hill, on my stomach, actually scurrying along a rope on dirt, holding a hose in my left hand while my team mates were pouring water down it from the top of the hill… When the alarm clock went off I could not wait to get up and end that dream!

About a week before the marathon I had a complete and total meltdown and decided to switch to the early start with the walkers. This way I knew I would have enough time to complete the marathon without having to panic. With the early start, I wasn’t eligible to place (you know take 1^st or 2^nd) and I wouldn’t qualify for Boston. Gee – I think I can handle those penalties!

Up and at’em at 4:30 in the morning. Dress. Apply Body Glide. Eat yogart. Text Brenda about my crazy dream. She too had crazy dreams. We had a good laugh. I looked at the clock, 5:15, holy crap! Why am I still in my kitchen when I start in 15 minutes? I head out the door in a panic. Realistically I live like 2 minutes from the start line, so I was being quite silly. Brenda and Fenway came down to cheer me on! So sweet! I couldn’t remember the name I had thought they were going to name the baby. About mile 4 it came to me and I texted Brenda just the name. She laughed knowing exactly what it meant! I had fully intended to dedicate miles to people and I did to an extent, but things got fuzzy and some people got extra miles and some people shared miles and the like. It all worked out in the end. Mile 1 was for Mom and Dad because without them I could have never started this journey. Three was for Sophie, because she is almost 3. Michelle was 4 and Emily 5. Heidi claimed 9 and Nicola 14. I chose 16 for Cindy and 19 was for Heidi’s “lil bean.” Sneaky lil Ada picked 21 and Brenda chose 23 (because 34 wasn’t an option – sorry darling, not running 8 more just to dedicate your number to you!) 26 was mine. All mine!

So I am running and speed walking (yes, silly looking speed walking) and running and walking. I had a number on the Garmin that I did not want to see, so if I got that slow I made myself run. I felt great! I was beyond ecstatic with my time for the first 15 miles. I was 2-3 minutes faster than my training pace and delighted. My friend Kevin was at the top of Bennett Hill cheering on the girls he had been training! He cheered for me too! Brenda started at the normal time and I had tried to do the math on when she would pass me. Her pace vs mine. Plus the head start. All the numbers made me dizzy so I started guessing. I finally got to see her right around mile 16. I had already hit the turnaround at Higgins Point and was making my way back towards town. She had made a big deal about texting each other every 5 miles. Said it was a mental thing for her on her first marathon to break it up into 5 mile increments. So I just went along with it and sent her a picture of each sign as I passed. I knew her boyfriend was going to be cheering for us at 20 miles. I was ready to see another familiar face! Then, at 19ish, I look up and there is the cutest little pregnant friend alongside the course. I haven’t seen her in years, but well, we Facebook. She cheered when she saw me! It was awesome! Then I saw the 20 mile sign and looked down the hill and saw Dan. Right where he said he’d be. Cheering! Yay! I turned the corner and there was my lil pregnant friend again. This time she walked out onto the course to high-five me! I loved it!

On I go. My left IT band started to ache. My pace had slowed. I was going about a minute per mile slower than I did the first 15. I wanted to go faster, but I was okay with this pace too. Making my way back down to Sanders beach and I turn the corner and see the biggest bright pink sign that has my name on it! At first I thought it was cool someone else in the race shared my name. Then I realized that sign was for me!! My darling friend Ada, who I also have not seen in years (but we Facebook), had come out to cheer me on! Her darling little girl was waving to me and little Asher Man, well he was hanging out in the stroller. I wanted to cry. Okay, I did. Then I was mad at myself for not taking a picture. I was too in shock! I almost turned around to go back for a picture. I kept going. Brenda finally passed me just a few minutes later. I asked if she saw the sign for me on the corner. “Oh, Ada, yeah I called her when you passed mile 15.” Yes, I cried again. They were in cahoots! Soooo this is why I had to check in every 5 miles. This is why Ada chose mile 21. My friends rock!

I continued on and around mile 23 my IT band was really hurting. I wanted to cry. Like I hadn’t done that already this race. My breathing was labored. I stopped at the city park to refill my water bottle and stretch my IT. I kept going. I wasn’t really enjoying this anymore. A marathon should only be 23 miles. I’m gonna start a petition! Then I started trying to talk myself down from this ledge of frustration. While I was awake in the night I had told myself that no matter how hard things got, I wasn’t allowed to hate any part of this race and so far I had done a really great job following my own rule. I had to point out to myself that while I hurt badly, my body was far from giving out on me. My labored breathing was just ridiculous. It was just some pain. I was really blowing things out of proportion. This kinda worked for me. I had slowed down quite a bit thought. Mile 24 went better. Mile 25 was my favorite. Sort of. See my Garmin told me I had hit each mile marker 4/10’s of a mile before I reached the official race sign. So the first time I reached 25 I was excited because I knew I was done. Even if I had to 911 my friends to carry me to the finish line, they would! Then I got to “their” 25 sign and was frustrated. When my Garmin hit 26.2 I wanted to sit on the pavement in protest. I’m done! Dammit, I can’t have my medal if I do that!

As I approached the last turn I see Michelle standing there with a sign “Run like you stole it.” I laughed! I got thru the finish line. Garmin said 26.65. There was Brenda! Big hug! I hadn’t even gotten my medal yet! I love you girl, but let me have my medal! Hehehe! My sister was right behind her. And Brenda’s Mom and her dog Sparky. And Dan of course. Then there was Nicola and Matt and Emily and Sophie. I immediately forgot all pains! I downed a bunch of water and in true celebratory style, we hit the beer garden! Home for the ice bath. It was colder than I remember. Then there were gifts! Michelle is getting me a race photo. If I don’t like any of me, she said I could pick one of anyone in the race. Hahaha! My sister got me the coolest medal hanger…

And Brenda had this made for me…

Okay, we’ve agreed the yellow is a bit much, but that was the bib color so I love it! She got a hold of the race director and they scanned a bib and sent it to her for the plaque. She went and picked up the medal in advance too. Totally ruined the surprise for her. She loves herself a medal. It’s part of the fun for her to see what they chose for the design. She ran 26.2 miles and didn’t get her surprise. I was in shock. I really love it!

I spent the afternoon with my sister and friends and just enjoyed every second of it. That evening I sat in Nicola’s back yard and watched her girls run around the back yard and cheered for them! It was the perfect day!

Today I am sore. I’m still smiling. I am so happy to have achieved this goal!

Will I do it again someday?

Something’s Gone missing …

Please be on the look out… for my legs… or more specifically for the muscles that comprise them… they were absent for class today!!

My, oh my, was that a rough run! I felt as though I was running on logs instead of legs the entire time. It was as though I didn’t have any muscles. Just logs. Not the heavy bricks-for-legs feeling that signifies dehydration. Logs. Except when I walked, then it seemed as though I had gummy legs with really big shoes. I kept envisioning Goofy, possibly a drunk Goofy, swinging his legs in front of him and plopping down his big feet. I don’t know why.

Weird. Rough. Done.

I alternated between frustration and hysterical laughter. I sang along with the music. Sometimes out loud. The highlight being around mile 16 when I thought I was all alone on the trail, singing loud and possibly off key and looked up and there was my friend. Oops!!

I had a ton of random thoughts while I was out there. Here is a sampling…

1 – I’m pretty sure I’m going to be the very last person in the marathon. You know the one that is followed by an emergency vehicle. I have a rule about being followed by the PoPo. It’s not allowed. Ever. I would hate to be followed by an Ambulance because I would be certain they were just itching for me to collapse. Therefore, I would like to be followed by firemen please. If anyone can make this happen, I’d be grateful.

2 – I loved being cheered on during my run! A couple of cyclists happened by at different points in my run and shouted my name! It was just cool!

3 – I reflected back to a 14 mile run where I suffered a very odd, very excruciating pain on the top of my foot. I woke the next morning and actually had a bruise. So bizarre. I told a friend, who told a friend, who told a friend, which resulted in an unexpected, very supportive phone call from a guy who runs like 700 miles a day. After sharing the incident with him, it turned out my shoe was tied too tight. Oops!

4 – People are so supportive. I always downgrade my successes by saying “well I walked a lot.” Turns out that really doesn’t matter to anyone but me. 20 miles impressive. Run. Walk. Whatever. It’s a long way.

5 – I am the only one who cares that I haven’t lost any weight during this training. Oddly I am the only reason I haven’t lost any weight during this training. Interesting. Very, very interesting.

6 – I stopped to take this picture. Just two little flowers hanging out in the pavement. Required getting the right angle so I wasn’t shadowing them. Oh and bending over. That hurts during a long run. A lot.

After I finally got the picture I wanted, I looked across the trail and there were thousands more. I just had to laugh!

7 – I love the support I get from those of you reading this! I blither on and on and on and you keep coming back for more! YOUR success stories motivate me! Keep ‘em coming!!

8 – I’m terrified I won’t make the finish line before they pack it up. Super terrified.

9 – I laugh that I keep saying I’m not going to sign up for anything more, then find myself committed to another event. It’s addicting.

10 – I’m really excited that my next “race” is totally different from anything else I have done! It’s a relay! I get to run 5 miles three times in a 30ish hour period. One run is guaranteed to be in the heat of the day and one in the black of night. Training for this race will be totally different!!

11 – I’m slightly bummed at the thought of not running Seattle this year. I can’t explain why, but Seattle has been my favorite race so far. With the trip to San Fran a month before for the Nike Women’s Half… it’s just a lot to cram into a short time, particularly money-wise.

12 – On my very last lap I had to stop and look at this…

Do you see him?

Here, let me zoom in…

The most determined dog ever. He had a goal and nothing was going to deter him. Not the really steep rough to the water. Not the swim out to the middle of the lake (or so it would seem to a dog). He was swift and determined. He got his prize. I shall be like the dog. Swift(ish) and determined. I want my medal!!

13 – I wonder what I will do with my Sunday mornings all summer. I mean without long runs… it’s almost a little sad to consider, actually.

14 – I have been beyond blessed with a wonderful training buddy. She pushes me and encourages me and tells me I’m being dumb when I am. She also credits me with motivating her, which blows my mind!

15 – I’m excited and scared and proud. I’m really looking forward to that finish line! Please, oh please don’t let them pack it up before I get there!!

I'm Alive!!

The Big Two-Oh!

Freaky!

Very Freaky!

The day before the Big Two-Oh I realized that denial was working for me for once in my life! I can name a million times where it hasn’t, but where running is involved, I seem to over-think things. Denial is totally helping with that!

Throughout this training I have attempted to stay, well, let’s just say properly hydrated. That is until this past week.

Wagon.

Me.

Fell.

Hard.

I was a little concerned that I had given myself another reason to be a little concerned. Damage is done. Can’t change the past. Look ahead. So I did.

We had planned to incorporate Bloomsday into our 20 miler. Initially we were going to complete our extra 12.5 after the community event, but a last minute change of plans worked out really great for us!

The night before the run I was very anxious. I went to bed without having actually mapped out my run. I had a general idea. We had run in Spokane the week prior just for this reason. I hadn’t seen it on paper. I didn’t have my index card. I was panicked.

A short chat with a friend and all of that was resolved. I still didn’t sleep well. I was nervous. Excited. Nervous. Pre-race nights are often hard to sleep through. Anxiety about oversleeping and all. Never fear, I woke at 4:41 am – 4 minutes before the alarm was to go off. Lovely.

I dress. I drive. I spend far too much time trying to decide where to park. The business parking lot right in front of the “violators will be towed” sign? The neighborhood with more cars on cinderblocks than on tires? Decisions. Decisions. I found a street that contained neither. Winner!!

6:15 I’m off. Strolling. Strolling. I’m pretty sure the idea of running (alone) in this “top-notch” part of town, at some unfathomable early hour, fed my anxiety a bit. Quickly finding familiar territory and plink, It turned out to be a beautiful and peaceful morning. (Note: After my run, I learned some statistics of this “top-notch” area… they weren’t pretty).

At one point I stop to stretch my IT bands. I’m holding onto a stop sign for balance and someone stops to ask me how Bloomsday was going to affect traffic in his neighborhood. Uh. Well. I made up some answer that must have sounded legit because he went on his way appearing quite content.

I looked at my phone at this point and saw that my running buddy had gotten to Spokane early and was going to start running early. Crap. She’s ruining my plans! See, Speedy Gonzales and I had coordinated start times so we would both arrive at the Bloomsday start line at the same time.

I spent miles and miles doing mental math to determine when she would pass me. I was at mile 3 when she texted and she runs X miles a minute and the sun rises in the east and oh hell! I don’t know. I finally decided I would see her at mile 7. Or 8. Definitely mile 7 or 8.

Whenever I was waiting at an intersection, I would look back. No friend. Sad. Shouldn’t she be here by now? Maybe she is running slower than normal. That’s healthy on these super long runs. Maybe I’m running faster than normal. Oh I just crack myself up!

I step into the street to pick up a penny and glance back and see a white shirt at the intersection behind me. It’s my friend! I mean I only saw a glimpse of white. Never mind there were dozens of people making their way to Bloomsday. It really could have been anyone. I didn’t see hair color. I didn’t see body structure. Just a two second glance and knew it was my friend.

Friend didn’t realize she had been seen. She snuck up alongside me, accused me of stealing her penny, and she was off.

I was behind. Again. Miles 10 and 11 were crazy hard. I got back to my car at 10.1. Emptied the rocks from my shoes. GU’d – or rather Clif Shot’d – I think I like those better. Anyway – I continued on. Those rough miles had really messed up my time and I decided to scrap the plan of getting the additional 2.5 miles before Bloomsday and took the first right I could and made my way downtown.

I finally got to the race course and ended up a color group behind. I was bummed. I knew I was going to have to deal with walkers and leap over children in my color group, but now I was even further back. I didn’t get to meet up with my friend and wish her a good Bloomsday. Bummed. Plus we had another friend joining us. He brought us space blankets to keep us warm while waiting to cross the start line. I didn’t get to wish him a good run either. Really bummed. Then I dropped all my plink on the ground.

Picture it – some fraction of 48,000 making their way to the start line and then there is me. Crawling around picking up pennies. And a nickel. And a dime. People were kind, pointing out where they had rolled. They looked at me like I was crazy when I thanked them and told them I had been collecting them for 12 miles.

And we’re off. Runners are on the left. On the curb. Sidewalk. Grass. Wherever they could. Walkers dominated the street. I jumped over small children and scurried around walkers. I was frustrated. I was tired. I was HOT. Who the hell wears black on a sunny day? Never mind it was 36 degrees out when I started. Okay, I made that up. I didn’t actually look at the temperature, but it was forecasted to be something like that.

Around mile 14 I knew that if there was ever a day I would quit, this would have been it. I’m not certain as to why. I think the whole cattle-car concept was really wearing on me. Plus, I’m pretty sure I looked like I was dying. That frustrated me even more. No one could understand why I looked like hell just 3 miles into Bloomsday. I wanted to show them my Garmin. See?! I’m at 15 miles. I have a right to look like this. Hey, old man, slow down, you’re making me feel like a wimp here!

Alas, quitting wasn’t an option. Bloomsday doesn’t provide a cab service. I had to keep going. I watched my watch closely as 18.00 passed. I was excited and reenergized by the new longer than ever distance.

Then there was 19.00! It was beautiful!

I finished the race. Stopped to hug a college friend that volunteers every year. Pushed my way thru the t-shirt tables. I needed just a little more mileage to hit that magic number!

20.00

I stop my Garmin. I am nowhere near my car. I had forgotten my ID and beer $. I trudge my way up to the car. Unfortunately during all our adventures, my friends’ tire had gone flat. So, Speedy Gonzales and Even Speedier Gonzales dealt with all that while I finished up my run.

All said and done, my super awesome, super amazing friends had an ice cold beer waiting for me when I finally caught up to them.

I just kept wandering around saying “I’m Alive!”

I’m pretty sure I thought that 20 miles was going to kill me. I was in denial though, so I didn’t really realize it.

I just kept wandering around saying “I’m Alive!”

Could I have done another 6.2 miles?

Yes.

It wouldn’t have been pretty.

I would have survived.

Today I feel great.

Really great.

I’m bummed.

I could have pushed harder.

I have one more week of 20.

Then a 10.

Then the real deal.

I’m excited.

Oh so nervous.

But still excited.

At least for today…

Eighteen - Take 2 - And A Whole Lot More...

So, I need to go back a few days here…

Thursday –  my first day of vacation – it was “Pamper Me Day” and it was delightful!!! I got my hair did at Taylor Made Hair Design – LOVE THIS GIRL!!!  Fingers and toes got special treatment at NJ Top Nails – this place was new to me. FANTASTIC service and affordable too! Coffee with my one and only sister Cindy-Lou-Who! Finally dinner with one of my BFF’s!! If I won the lottery – this would be my day, every day!!!

However I must back up just a wee bit more… See I may have celebrated the oncoming vacation a little much on Wednesday night… So imagine my surprise to wake after only 4 hours sleep and see FIVE texts, FIVE Facebook notifications, and ONE missed call on my phone. I’m groggy and hungover. I decide to start with the texts. Most recent first:

“:) OMG!! :) OMG!!”

Initial thought: WTH is she doing up at this hour!!

Anyway… Previous text…

“We got into Nike!!!!!!”

It took 3 hours for that text to set in! See, Nike is a Women’s half marathon that is SO coveted that they do a lottery to determine who gets to run it. Only 25,000 can run it each year. ONLY! I’m dying to know how many people register! Anywho – my favorite running buddy has been trying to get in for 5 years and finally, WE’RE IN!!! Let me share with you their email …

It goes on and on to tell me how they’re going to charge my account for this torture because I’m crazy, but that’s the gist of it  :)

Oh, perhaps I should mention that our medal comes in this…

But anyway…

Skipping ahead to Friday! Oh I relaxed! I window shopped! It was another delightful day!

Until…

I’m out on my run. Five miles. It’s doable. I’m kinda struggling. Tummy is a bit upset. I continue on.

4.something miles  - I meet the pavement!

I rolled my ankle on a pinecone?? Both knees got a wee bit of road rash. Garmin took the hit for my left hand. My right, however, HURTS!! Holding the cylindrical water bottle caused this hand to roll back into a very unnatural position. I pick myself up. Stop my Garmin. (Priorities). My hand throbs. Well hell. I have less than a mile to go. I wiggle my fingers as I run and determine I will survive. Oh my does it hurt. A little Neosporin and some ice and a good night’s sleep and I’m almost good as new.

Thank-freakin-goodness!!!

So, today.

Today was take-2 of my 18 mile run. There are no words. There is no comparison. First of all it was 41 when I left my house – 20 degrees cooler than last week!!!

We decided to run in Spokane since next week is Bloomsday, which is 7.46 miles and we need to complete 20. We figured we should map out a route.

Oh the nerves.

New territory? No house to stop in mid-point? We have to remember EVERYTHING we could possibly need?

I didn’t map out the course. Some friends did. I trusted them. I was given an index card with directions. Ooooh – like a scavenger hunt!! Get it right, you get a ride home. Get it wrong… um, it’s a long walk from North Spokane to my house!!! I best get it right!!

I take off… half a mile in… hill. BIG hill. You know, when someone works the streets of Spokane, you think they could mention there is a big ass hill on the route they suggested for you!!! Remind me to thank said friend next time I see him!!! (Editor’s note: apparently friend told us, we were just a little too excited to listen…)

I run and I walk and I run and I walk. I find a penny here and a penny there…  and then…

These kids tried to mug me for my pennies!!!

Three times!!!

I began to wonder what I would do if I found a penny in their claimed area. Would I give it to them? I mean, I’m all for helping kids. But really, they aren’t running 18 miles today. These pennies are mine!! Then I laughed. I was reminded of an outing in Seattle where my running buddy picked up 2 pennies, from the sidewalk, a few feet from a panhandling bum. Some stranger told her to give the bum the pennies. She might have responded that if he wanted them, he would have gotten off his tush and gotten them himself! Seriously, he almost could have reached him from his perch! I didn’t find any pennies here though. Dilemma resolved.

Somewhere I stopped my Garmin and forgot to restart it. UGH!! When you are running 18,000,000,000,000,000,000 miles, every 1/10^th on that Garmin counts! I got back to the car at 8.20. My running buddy had already been to the car and clocked it at 9.38. Crap! I lost over a mile!!!

I continued on. I’m slow. I’m blessed with many hours to think about many things. How I run. How my foot hits the pavement. How I should eat better. What color I should paint my bedroom. What to have for dinner. How we should do our community outreach for S2S this year. And on. And on. And on.

I get a text from my running buddy… she’s still looking for “Maxwell St.”… this really is a scavenger hunt! 

How fun!

Part of the fun of this course was we got to run DOWN Doomsday hill! I’ve never noticed how beautiful it is while crawling up it before…

Less than two miles to go and I’m dragging. I decide to walk along this trail we’ve seen runners on all day. Totally worth it for the view…

I finished up with a decent time. For me anyway. I felt SOOOO much better than last week!

I’m still scared to death of 26.2 miles.

It’s SO far!

Here are my winnings for today…

Note the index card in the back! I made sure not to lose it! I did NOT want to walk home!!!

Thank you for hanging out through this novel!

I revel in the support I get from my readers!!!

What do you mean I can’t have a nap…

… during a marathon??

18. Oh I cannot lie.

18 sucked.

In my opinion, today does not count.

First of all – due to the fact that neither of us has won the lottery, my running buddy and I had totally messed up schedules this weekend!! Therefore, she ran her 18 miles Saturday while I was at work, and well, I attempted 18 miles today.

Let me start with my day – well it started at 130 am – when my shift began - I prepared for a flight and talked to my crew and flight followed them until 730am when they finished up early, because they are awesome like that.

After a short nap, I started out on my run. My 1^st four miles were GLORIOUS!! Seriously, cloud 9! I couldn’t believe it. After that it got ugly. Very ugly. At 4 I stopped at Starbucks and used the restroom and refilled my water. At 6 I stopped at a friend’s to refill my water again.

At 7.5 I stopped to text my running buddy that I had curled up under a shade tree somewhere in the city limits. See, it was 70 degrees. Up from 61 when I started. Well above the 29 I’ve grown accustomed to running in. Not complaining here, but holy heat batman!!!

At 9 I was tired. Very tired. I was half way!!!

At 10 I walked. I was hot. I had to stop in the shade a couple of times to try and get my heart rate and breathing under control. I was frustrated. I’ve done 10 miles before. More times than I can count on one hand. Ugh!

At 12 miles I returned to my friends. She was gone. I made myself at home, sharing an ice cube or two with the dog. I stretched and relaxed and cooled down for a bit. It was time to keep going.

I’ll admit I walked most of the last six miles. At 13.5 I was pretty sure that time had stopped even though I had not. It had hit 74 degrees at this point. Oh how I miss the 30’s.

At 15.75 I realized my “alternate route” was much further than planned. I was nowhere near home. I was in a community that was shaded (hence it’s draw), but SO confusing to navigate. At one point I was convinced I was trapped. HUGE PHOBIA PEOPLE! I was momentarily panicked! Then I realized I had gone (referencing Garmin here) 15.something miles. I was still in my town. I wasn’t lost. Even if I had to go back and take an alternate route, I could find home. Disaster averted!

16.46 came around and so did the tears. I was frustrated. I should have been done by now. What a failure. How will I ever survive 26.2 miles when I feel so weak right now? CRAP! There are children lying in the street. Pull yourself together. What will people think of a 6 foot woman with sunburned elbows crying as she wanders the streets? (30 something years, never sunburned my elbows before…)  Yes, there were children, on their bellies, lying in the street. There was a garden hose and a sled involved. My sunburned elbows and I just kept going.

I reached home at 17.28 miles. Really?

I refilled my water and filled the bathtub for the dreaded ice bath and went back out to finish up. Around the block I go, averting the neighbors who told my friend I’m a “sweet girl, but we really hope she mows her lawn this year,” as they are out mowing their lawn…

Anyway – HOME!

17.92 :o/

Urg!!! I continue down the street a little further and turn back, ending in my driveway at exactly 18.00!

I’m SO glad to get a re-do on this “run” next week! I will start at 4 am if that’s what it takes to avoid the heat.

Oh – and please forgive me – but I’m praying for rain for Memorial weekend. 

SWEET 16!

Miles, that is!

Yesterday I completed my first 16 mile training run. For some reason this run did not psych me out mentally. Now 18 and 20, those scare me, but 16 I was ready for. Or so I thought!!

See, normally my running buddy and I talk about where we are going to run and almost always we run into each other somewhere in town. Not literally of course. However, this week, the night before our run we scratched our big plan to venture out of our sleepy lil town to run in the big city. So, we each went to bed without a plan. Well, allbedamned if at 3.46 miles I didn’t look up and see my friend at the same intersection! So cool!!!!

After a brief discussion about how poorly I had calculated my intended distance, I foraged on towards 15^th Street. Now there is a portion of 15^th I don’t care for, due to lack of sidewalks and, well, for some reason about a mile or so just seems to feel like it takes forever. Nonetheless I continue on. I get to midtown (?), well, that is what I will call it anyway, and I notice they have the pavement marked every few feet or so. I look down and see a marking that says 26!! No way! That’s what I’m training for! I see 18 and 22 and there is 26 again and again! How cool is that! Okay, I know they aren’t really trying to prop me up for the insane adventure I have committed myself too, but nonetheless I smile every time I see it!

On and on I run. Or walk. Or run. Now due to the aforementioned miscalculation of distances, I’ve run from my house (we’ll say the Atlas Dog Park for those in the know) to 15^th Street to Sherman to 4^th(ish), stopping at a friend’s to potty (thanks friend) and back to my house. Guess what – big ole circle(ish) and only 12.5 miles!!! So I hop in the car and drive back to midtown and head out for 3.5 more.

I thought it was cheating to stop for 10-15 minutes while I relocated my car, I mean this will NOT be an option during the marathon! Well, not so much. My calves had a lot to say about restarting my run!! Ouch!

I wandered around, somewhat aimlessly, to finish my mileage.

At 14.77 I realized I had gone .77 more than ever before! Whoa! I’m tired.

Near the end of the run, I was bummed. Really, I had gone for hours and only found 6 pennies…

I arrived back at my car at 15.84… ugh!

Around the block I go… and what do I find??

Are you kidding me???

16 miles! 31 cents! Phenomenal!

It gets better!!!

You see. My running buddy. This is her 2^nd Marathon. Crazy. I know. She loves it.

She is a true inspiration! When I struggle, she fights. She encourages me to keep going. There is no sugar coating in marathon training. It’s hard. It’s painful. Keep going. You’ll survive.

I arrive back at her house. Alive. Having survived… this is what I’m greeted with…

Mimosa’s and jelly beans and everything I need to revive my very tired feet!! Foot soak and nail polish and the most amazing socks ever!! Oh, and of course a bucket and shovel. I just ran 16 miles. For the fun of it. I’m in no position to ask why I’m being given a bucket and shovel. I do, however, promise it will reappear on the beach, come summer. Probably filled with some fruity refreshing beverage.

What a fantastic day!

I hurt. I’ve taken an ice bath and for the first time since discovering such a torturous activity, it does not take away all my aches.

It seems as though this run last for two days.

You see, today I’m fondly aware of having pushed the boundaries!

My quads speak!

My calves speak!

All day long.

This evening, as I prepare to write this blog, I am bummed that I do not have a picture of the random support of strangers I saw along 15^th Street. So I call up my running buddy for a short walk. Armed with a flashlight (that we forgot) we head down the street. For blocks and blocks there are no markings. My friend asks me if I was sure that’s where I ran. Yes. Yes. I’m sure. And then we see a 25. A 30. 22. 25. 30. 10, I think. We’ve walked blocks and blocks. We’ve almost reached the point where I turned off the street. My friend eludes that I have actually gone crazy. That I was seeing something that didn’t exist.

There it was. In all its glory.

See it?!?!

I’m not crazy!

Well…