Ten miles of hilarity and suffering… but mostly hilarity!

I postponed my long run from this morning to this evening. I behaved myself all day – drank lots of water and only my one traditional coffee. My biggest concern heading into the run is that it’s warmer that I like (by about 20 degrees). Don’t get me wrong, the weather is GORGEOUS, I’m just a fair-weather runner (aka wuss)!! Roughly 2/10ths of a mile into my run, I realise that I have grossly mislead myself as to what was going on here! This my long run! My double digit long run! It’s not an easy five or so… it’s five out and then five more back. Well, hell! I’m in it now!

Truckin’ along and I see something right on the street corner… oooooh what is it? A dead squirrel. A dead squirrel that had eaten well before misfortune hit. Ewe. Onward! I get downtown, where the city workers have done such a wonderful job of maintaining the lawns. It’s all plush and green and beautiful and there is a German Sheppard taking a dump. Lovely. I look at his owner – easily 6’3 – bean pole skinny – with meth face. Double lovely. Then he grabs a bag and cleans up after his dog. Wow! That may be the only responsible pet owner slash meth-head on the planet! Onward! I turn the corner on to Mullen… there, on the ground, abandoned… two pennies! PLINK! PLINK! Onward! I see a car that looks familiar, but I can’t quite see the driver and there are many of these cars around, so I decide I will just look in my rearview mirror to see if there is a signature bumper sticker on the back. Yeah. Not so much. I actually let the car pass before I realised I didn’t have a rearview mirror. I laughed. I was actually going to have to physically turn my head to see if I knew the car. Wow! (BTW – no bumper sticker)!

It’s warm, but I’m doing well. I’m rationing my water. Life is good. Around mile 4 I find myself slowing down a bit. I turn around at 5 and just cannot get my brain to stop focusing on how far it is to home. I try reasoning with myself, reminding myself how great the run was on the way out. The sun is starting to set on the Lake Pollen (aka Lake Cd’A) and it’s just phenomenal. I’m thinking about my orange water bottle that I had put in the fridge and how ice cold and wonderful it would be when I get there. Then I’m passed by a friend. I see the car. I know the car. I don’t need no stinkin’ bumper sticker to pick this one out of a line up! Said friend turns around and pulls over ahead of where I’m at and steps out of the car with my orange water bottle in hand. HERO! 6.2 miles down and less than 1/5th of my water left. I needed this friend!

I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask if I could get a ride home. I was told if I could catch the car, I could have a ride. Gee, thanks! After consuming just a little too much of my beloved water (slosh slosh says the tummy), I continued on – only to see someone running alongside a car, trying to get in. I laughed! It wasn’t me, but it was just as funny! I had noticed this car earlier – 60’s model station wagon, paint looked awful, but had Yakima racks on the top. I admired it. If you can’t afford everything, go for the toys! Great plan! Well, the girl was able to get in the moving car and it passed me. Hippies! A car full of hippies! More laughter!

Life was uneventful until 7.44. Then I was beat. I was warm. I ached. I had done this to myself. Dammitjim! See… I had eaten poorly while celebrating the graduations of two of my most favorite kiddos! I had also missed all but one run during the week. I had kinda set myself up for a rough long run. I was super lucky to have made it as far as I did still loving life. I kept going. It sucked. I kept going. Hey... wait... a penny… that I have to bend over to pick up. Decisions. Decisions. Yes, I gave the penny a home. Onward! I see my car… just keep going ‘til you get to the car. $#!%! That’s not my car! Mine’s on the next block! Just get to your car… soooo close… YAAAAAAAY… $#!%! The Garmin reads 9.96. Bye car. It was nice seeing you… Yep, I deserved every stinkin’ moment of this!! Dammitjim ;)