I'm Alive!!

The Big Two-Oh!

Freaky!

Very Freaky!

The day before the Big Two-Oh I realized that denial was working for me for once in my life! I can name a million times where it hasn’t, but where running is involved, I seem to over-think things. Denial is totally helping with that!

Throughout this training I have attempted to stay, well, let’s just say properly hydrated. That is until this past week.

Wagon.

Me.

Fell.

Hard.

I was a little concerned that I had given myself another reason to be a little concerned. Damage is done. Can’t change the past. Look ahead. So I did.

We had planned to incorporate Bloomsday into our 20 miler. Initially we were going to complete our extra 12.5 after the community event, but a last minute change of plans worked out really great for us!

The night before the run I was very anxious. I went to bed without having actually mapped out my run. I had a general idea. We had run in Spokane the week prior just for this reason. I hadn’t seen it on paper. I didn’t have my index card. I was panicked.

A short chat with a friend and all of that was resolved. I still didn’t sleep well. I was nervous. Excited. Nervous. Pre-race nights are often hard to sleep through. Anxiety about oversleeping and all. Never fear, I woke at 4:41 am – 4 minutes before the alarm was to go off. Lovely.

I dress. I drive. I spend far too much time trying to decide where to park. The business parking lot right in front of the “violators will be towed” sign? The neighborhood with more cars on cinderblocks than on tires? Decisions. Decisions. I found a street that contained neither. Winner!!

6:15 I’m off. Strolling. Strolling. I’m pretty sure the idea of running (alone) in this “top-notch” part of town, at some unfathomable early hour, fed my anxiety a bit. Quickly finding familiar territory and plink, It turned out to be a beautiful and peaceful morning. (Note: After my run, I learned some statistics of this “top-notch” area… they weren’t pretty).

At one point I stop to stretch my IT bands. I’m holding onto a stop sign for balance and someone stops to ask me how Bloomsday was going to affect traffic in his neighborhood. Uh. Well. I made up some answer that must have sounded legit because he went on his way appearing quite content.

I looked at my phone at this point and saw that my running buddy had gotten to Spokane early and was going to start running early. Crap. She’s ruining my plans! See, Speedy Gonzales and I had coordinated start times so we would both arrive at the Bloomsday start line at the same time.

I spent miles and miles doing mental math to determine when she would pass me. I was at mile 3 when she texted and she runs X miles a minute and the sun rises in the east and oh hell! I don’t know. I finally decided I would see her at mile 7. Or 8. Definitely mile 7 or 8.

Whenever I was waiting at an intersection, I would look back. No friend. Sad. Shouldn’t she be here by now? Maybe she is running slower than normal. That’s healthy on these super long runs. Maybe I’m running faster than normal. Oh I just crack myself up!

I step into the street to pick up a penny and glance back and see a white shirt at the intersection behind me. It’s my friend! I mean I only saw a glimpse of white. Never mind there were dozens of people making their way to Bloomsday. It really could have been anyone. I didn’t see hair color. I didn’t see body structure. Just a two second glance and knew it was my friend.

Friend didn’t realize she had been seen. She snuck up alongside me, accused me of stealing her penny, and she was off.

I was behind. Again. Miles 10 and 11 were crazy hard. I got back to my car at 10.1. Emptied the rocks from my shoes. GU’d – or rather Clif Shot’d – I think I like those better. Anyway – I continued on. Those rough miles had really messed up my time and I decided to scrap the plan of getting the additional 2.5 miles before Bloomsday and took the first right I could and made my way downtown.

I finally got to the race course and ended up a color group behind. I was bummed. I knew I was going to have to deal with walkers and leap over children in my color group, but now I was even further back. I didn’t get to meet up with my friend and wish her a good Bloomsday. Bummed. Plus we had another friend joining us. He brought us space blankets to keep us warm while waiting to cross the start line. I didn’t get to wish him a good run either. Really bummed. Then I dropped all my plink on the ground.

Picture it – some fraction of 48,000 making their way to the start line and then there is me. Crawling around picking up pennies. And a nickel. And a dime. People were kind, pointing out where they had rolled. They looked at me like I was crazy when I thanked them and told them I had been collecting them for 12 miles.

And we’re off. Runners are on the left. On the curb. Sidewalk. Grass. Wherever they could. Walkers dominated the street. I jumped over small children and scurried around walkers. I was frustrated. I was tired. I was HOT. Who the hell wears black on a sunny day? Never mind it was 36 degrees out when I started. Okay, I made that up. I didn’t actually look at the temperature, but it was forecasted to be something like that.

Around mile 14 I knew that if there was ever a day I would quit, this would have been it. I’m not certain as to why. I think the whole cattle-car concept was really wearing on me. Plus, I’m pretty sure I looked like I was dying. That frustrated me even more. No one could understand why I looked like hell just 3 miles into Bloomsday. I wanted to show them my Garmin. See?! I’m at 15 miles. I have a right to look like this. Hey, old man, slow down, you’re making me feel like a wimp here!

Alas, quitting wasn’t an option. Bloomsday doesn’t provide a cab service. I had to keep going. I watched my watch closely as 18.00 passed. I was excited and reenergized by the new longer than ever distance.

Then there was 19.00! It was beautiful!

I finished the race. Stopped to hug a college friend that volunteers every year. Pushed my way thru the t-shirt tables. I needed just a little more mileage to hit that magic number!

20.00

I stop my Garmin. I am nowhere near my car. I had forgotten my ID and beer $. I trudge my way up to the car. Unfortunately during all our adventures, my friends’ tire had gone flat. So, Speedy Gonzales and Even Speedier Gonzales dealt with all that while I finished up my run.

All said and done, my super awesome, super amazing friends had an ice cold beer waiting for me when I finally caught up to them.

I just kept wandering around saying “I’m Alive!”

I’m pretty sure I thought that 20 miles was going to kill me. I was in denial though, so I didn’t really realize it.

I just kept wandering around saying “I’m Alive!”

Could I have done another 6.2 miles?

Yes.

It wouldn’t have been pretty.

I would have survived.

Today I feel great.

Really great.

I’m bummed.

I could have pushed harder.

I have one more week of 20.

Then a 10.

Then the real deal.

I’m excited.

Oh so nervous.

But still excited.

At least for today…